My husband is amazing. Having a child in our lives makes me recognize that on a daily basis, and I am so thankful to have him around. That's the sweet truth.
There's also an ugly truth: Marriage is hard. It's harder with a kid.
Dan and I have been through challenges. We have been together for 7.5 years. We graduated college, got jobs, lost jobs, lived in bad neighborhoods, dealt with emotional issues, tried for multiple years to get pregnant...we have struggled. We're incredibly lucky, and very blessed, but we still face un-pretty things. But we face them together, and generally with a similar attitude. This baby thing has thrown us for a loop though.
It's always been so easy to face challenges together, and to turn to each other when times are hard, that we never anticipated a time when we couldn't work together, or how we would handle that. But Lovebug has changed that, and we're still working through things. Some weeks, Dan and I have almost completely opposite schedules. It makes communicating things about Lovebug really difficult, and the sleep deprivation is not helping.
Anyway, in addition to the communication challenges, the lack of sleep and new schedules for everyone, Hubby and I are also adjusting to this new way of caring for our relationship. Gone are the days of taking a weekend getaway, or even spontaneous date nights. Now, Valentine's day is celebrated with putting Lovebug to bed by 8, ordering takeout, and cleaning out the DVR. The hours we spent talking about random topics like politics or our future have quickly moved to discussions about daycare, schedules, dinner and who's turn it is to change the poopy diaper.
However, thanks to my awesome parents and sister who live in town, we're able to at least schedule a date night. It's funny how different you approach a night out when it feels like a luxury. We're just doing dinner at Red Lobster, maybe a movie or something...but the thrill of having a whole evening to ourselves, without cramming all the 'adult stuff' into one or two free hours, is amazing. I'm so excited to take time and hang out with Dan sans-Lovebug, and to remind myself that there is more to our relationship than the dinner plan and daycare schedule.
Our lives are so different from a month ago...but, in a way, it makes me more grateful for my relationship. It makes me feel so lucky to have such an awesome partner-in-crime, and a support system when things are rough.
So, here's looking at you, Dan.
-Jenn
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Wow- Time Flies!
I guess it's time to update ya'll on the progress of this foster care journey! We accepted a placement about two weeks ago! We are referring to her as "Lovebug" in social media world, because she's just the most cuddly kiddo (and because we got her around Valentine's Day).
Well. To state the obvious: we're exhausted! It's been such a whirlwind experience, and definitely different than we planned, but we're just taking it as it goes. When we got her, Lovebug was 4 months old (she just turned 5 months today!), and was a pretty sick kid. But after an overnight in the hospital (less than 24 hours after placement) and a long round of breathing treatments and antibiotics, things seem under control now, health wise. Schedule-wise, it's a different story.
So when she was placed with us, she was sleeping A LOT. Now, she still sleeps (pretty) well, but it's not at the same times as she used to, and we are trying to get a routine down. Speaking of routines, mine is totally messed up.
Pre-Lovebug
5:45-6:15 Wake Up
6:15-7:15 Gym
7:15-5 Commute, Work, Commute
5-9 Various evening activities including TV watching, laundry, dinner, etc. (Oh, and we had a menu for the week, everything we needed for the meals, and almost always knew who was going to make it).
9-10 Wind down and go to bed
Post-Lovebug
2:15 am-7 am Wake Up (depends day to day what time)
GYM?? What is that?
6:45-7:15 Daycare drop off (this is new, since she just started yesterday)
Work
4-5ish Pick up Lovebug
5-8ish Feed, bathe, read, play, put Lovebug to bed
8-9 Time to ourselves? Slash do laundry/pick up/clean up kitchen/everything else
9-10 Crash for a few hours before she wakes up again.
(To be fair, my family has been AMAZING at helping out, and it's not always quite this bad...but when it is, I really feel it!)
She also has visits with her mom, meetings with social workers/her attorney/others, and we have shopping and other errands to work in there somewhere.
When they say 'life changes in ways you can't know until you have a kid', it's true. I say that not in a preachy, now-I-know-everything kind of way. I say it because I'm still reeling from the reality of it. I'll be working on a post for the next few days about the effect this has had on my relationship with Dan, because that's another thing I hadn't anticipated changing so very much.
But overall, despite the lack of sleep, time to myself, and the lack of clean laundry I have, I'm 100% thrilled to have this little girl in our life. And I pray every night that she grows up healthy, strong and happy...with the people she is meant to be with.
-Jenn
Well. To state the obvious: we're exhausted! It's been such a whirlwind experience, and definitely different than we planned, but we're just taking it as it goes. When we got her, Lovebug was 4 months old (she just turned 5 months today!), and was a pretty sick kid. But after an overnight in the hospital (less than 24 hours after placement) and a long round of breathing treatments and antibiotics, things seem under control now, health wise. Schedule-wise, it's a different story.
So when she was placed with us, she was sleeping A LOT. Now, she still sleeps (pretty) well, but it's not at the same times as she used to, and we are trying to get a routine down. Speaking of routines, mine is totally messed up.
Pre-Lovebug
5:45-6:15 Wake Up
6:15-7:15 Gym
7:15-5 Commute, Work, Commute
5-9 Various evening activities including TV watching, laundry, dinner, etc. (Oh, and we had a menu for the week, everything we needed for the meals, and almost always knew who was going to make it).
9-10 Wind down and go to bed
Post-Lovebug
2:15 am-7 am Wake Up (depends day to day what time)
GYM?? What is that?
6:45-7:15 Daycare drop off (this is new, since she just started yesterday)
Work
4-5ish Pick up Lovebug
5-8ish Feed, bathe, read, play, put Lovebug to bed
8-9 Time to ourselves? Slash do laundry/pick up/clean up kitchen/everything else
9-10 Crash for a few hours before she wakes up again.
(To be fair, my family has been AMAZING at helping out, and it's not always quite this bad...but when it is, I really feel it!)
She also has visits with her mom, meetings with social workers/her attorney/others, and we have shopping and other errands to work in there somewhere.
When they say 'life changes in ways you can't know until you have a kid', it's true. I say that not in a preachy, now-I-know-everything kind of way. I say it because I'm still reeling from the reality of it. I'll be working on a post for the next few days about the effect this has had on my relationship with Dan, because that's another thing I hadn't anticipated changing so very much.
But overall, despite the lack of sleep, time to myself, and the lack of clean laundry I have, I'm 100% thrilled to have this little girl in our life. And I pray every night that she grows up healthy, strong and happy...with the people she is meant to be with.
-Jenn
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