We're Expecting!

Don't get too excited, the plan hasn't changed!

Yesterday, while I was in another office for work, one of my supervisors asked me if it was "public knowledge that I was an expecting mother?" I quickly corrected her, reminding her that I was just fostering and adopting, not having a baby. And her response? "Don't be silly, of course you are expecting! Are you not expecting to have a baby in your house soon?" And the answer, of course, is yes.

I am so lucky to have supportive people all over in my life, who are helping us get through this process. This particular woman has been a mentor and a guide through the infertility questions, and now is a huge supporter and a great role model for successful adoption. She has already given me some great ideas about getting through the process, building attachment and bonding with my child, and I know there's so much more to come! I'm so glad to have her on my team! :)

PS-MAPP 2 class was last week. In this class, we discussed the importance of communication and of having a relationship with the birth parents. I'm sure this is something that is much easier said than done, as every situation is different, and every parent is different, but the idea seems pretty logical.

We also spent a good amount of time discussing the types of children we will see come through foster care- different disabilities, different life experiences (sexual abuse, drug exposure, etc.) This topic seemed to be the most useful. Dan and I really started to get a handle on what we could accept and what we would have to decline, and if we accepted certain cases, what we could expect to come along with those.

Our first home study is scheduled for September 18th! We, of course, are still working on all of the associated paperwork. The cats go to the vet for vaccines on Friday, this weekend I must clean out my closets and organize my file drawers, because I seem to have misplaced my marriage license (which they also need a copy of). And there is the small matter of a crib and chair that need to be moved out of the living room and into the (non-existent) nursery...so much to do, so little time!

PS-MAPP Session 1

Dan and I just got back from a weekend in Chicago with his mom and dad, and it was awesome! Very fun and very relaxing. I rode a train for the first time since I was three...turns out, the commuter train is nothing special. We got into town Friday evening around 8, and did dinner and hotel pool time that night. Saturday we visited the Field Museum and wandered around downtown (I love big cities! Dan, on the other hand, does not). Sunday was spent at IKEA and the Cheesecake Factory (Dan's one request for the trip). We came home with a new desk, new dishes, lots of little odds and ends, and a long to-do list!

Our PS-MAPP class started last Thursday. It was a pretty typical, FULL, first session class, lots of introductions and time for questions. The class is always taught by an employee of the agency that handles the paperwork in our state (a local non-profit) and a current, experienced foster parent. We found out that our foster parent leader has eight children (whhaaa??) and six of them have been or are in the process of being adopted from the foster care system. During introductions, we found out that some people had waited since last March to get into this class! I don't know their full story, but hearing that made me wonder how we got in so quickly...but I'm trusting there was a reason.

We talked a little about the kinds of children we could expect to see in foster care, and a little about relationships with birth parents. We did read a case study to introduce the kinds of supports that would be needed from foster parents in the reunification process, the kinds of things the state could require birth parents to do in order to regain custody, and we discussed how we would handle the situation personally. 

We ended up not getting through everything, so on top of the huge stack of paperwork we already had for homework, we were also directed to finish all the reading for Session 1. I can't believe how much paper this class requires! I swear we received an entire tree's worth in the first session. Homework this week consisted of our Parent Profile (how we were raised, what we believe, how we celebrate and mourn in our family, family traditions, relationships within the family, and 14 more pages) and our Couple Profile (how we interact as a couple, how that will change with a child, etc) and also our Home Study packet (all the necessary forms and agreements required by the state to foster). The Home Study packet and the profiles will be submitted at the end of our 10 week class along with the results and notes from our PS-MAPP instructors and the licensing staff who studies our house.

So, while we complete all the paperwork, we will work simultaneously to get our house ready. Our home study and all the paperwork must be submitted within 110 days of beginning class...so let the fun begin!

Moving Forward

Well...we were approved! It's been a little bit of a roller coaster ever since, and things are starting to move quickly.

Friday afternoon we received a call that we were approved to begin our PS-MAPP classes...but that the next open class starting in our area would be in January! What a bummer! But wait...they were going to check into some things and give me a call back before the end of the day on Friday.

Friday...no call. Guess we'll have to wait until January. But that's ok, because it gives us more time to get the house ready, and pick up everything we need, and get organized. In fact, Friday evening, Mom and I did some shopping at Babies R Us. That's right. Real baby shopping. We picked up a baby monitor that was a crazy good deal, and took a gander at all things baby-related.

Over the weekend, Dan shared the news with his family and we're feeling very supported and even more exited to start this process. It's definitely a different way of building a family, and there will be lots of storms to weather, questions to ask, and confusion...but we're feeling pretty confident that in the end, it will all come together.

Monday rolls around, and I get a call from Iowa KidsNet...to tell me they have room in their Iowa City class, starting this week! So starting Thursday, we'll begin 10 weeks of classes, as well as finally getting everything organized upstairs, picking up some necessary supplies, and decorating the kiddo's room!

On the subject of decorating- we got a crib! Another great deal, this time at Target, and it's a great compromise between Dan and my decorating styles. It's a cherry crib by Sorelle, and we've started to finally get a vision of how this room should look.

Things are coming together, and we couldn't be more excited!