PS-MAPP Class 1-6 Overview

So, I realized I haven't updated you all on our classes recently! We have four (well, technically five but we're missing the last class) more before we're done!

Class 1: Introductions and the basics of foster care/adoption/respite (temporary fostering) care

Class 2: Cycle of need (how it differs in children in foster care), steps in a foster care case (how a family becomes a client, a very abridged version of how eventual adoption/reunification happens), and stages of development in children and recognizing what's 'abnormal' about a child's development.

Class 3: The need to be a 'loss expert' and how many different forms there are of loss. We talked about the normal stages of grief, how important it is to support children during times of loss (and tips on how to do that), and we discussed the importance of partnership.

Class 4: Helping children with attachments. We discussed Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, how important attachment is and how many children in foster care have difficulties attaching or developing meaningful attachments and suggestions on how to build those attachments with a variety of children.

Class 5: Behavior management. We talked about the differences between punishment (something you do to stop a behavior) versus discipline (something you do to change or encourage a specific behavior). In most cases, discipline is preferred over punishment. We talked about a variety of techniques to discipline children, and that physical punishment is not allowed in the foster care system. We learned some of the ways case workers identify children who need to be removed from their birth parents (a safety concern versus a risk).

Class 6: The importance of keeping a child connected to their birth families, or in absence of that, their cultural roots and heritage. We talked about different activities we could do, places we could go (locally) to maintain attachment, etc. Dan and I both felt like this was the most valuable class so far, because we really started talking about the foster care and adoption process in depth (timing of things, your rights as a foster/adoptive parent, etc).

We have a set of case studies that we use every class to reiterate the information we have learned, and give us some 'real-world application'. They are real cases of children (different ages, backgrounds, etc.) who were placed in the foster care system for a variety of reasons, and we use them to identify some of the things we feel we absolutely could not handle.

Overall, the classes have been long and sometimes tedious, but I think they are a really useful tool in helping you make sure this decision is in your family's best interest. We have had some questions come up that we hadn't thought of, and we've gotten a lot of answers to questions that  you just can't find on the internet. We're anxious to have Thursday nights back, though!

Technically, we have four classes left, but Dan and I will only be attending the next three. We'll be off on family vacation for the last one!

I Still Don't Care About Your Constipation

About a year ago, I made a post on Facebook that was fairly controversial among my friends:

11/16/11 "Among the list of things I hate: listening to people constantly complain about their pregnancy. Sit down, shut up and count your blessings. I'd gladly take your place. I'm sure it's not all roses, but it certainly has to be worth it in the end."

I made the post in reference to a few select girls who posted, quite literally, on a daily basis about what was wrong with their pregnancy. Acid reflux, constipation, dry skin, stretch marks...Frankly, all things that, even as a woman who's never been pregnant, I can safely say I understand are part of pregnancy.

Many of my friends misinterpreted this post, and got very defensive about it (either on the thread or in private messages). They thought that I was saying Facebook should not be used to talk about your baby, and insisted that I was just jealous because I wasn't pregnant. Truth be told, I was jealous, but even if I had not been, and had gotten pregnant, Facebook is not the place to complain about how awful you feel every day.

As an "expectant mother" myself now, I can truly say that I am no longer jealous of pregnant chicks. I have found my path to motherhood, and gratefully get to miss acid reflux/stretch marks/dry skin/constipation/throwing up etc. But...

I still don't want to hear your dirty details every day.

If you need a suggestion about how to handle your situation (example: gosh, I can't eat anything without getting heartburn! What worked for you?) that's fine. If you plan to regale us with the latest trip to the bathroom (5 times a day) and all that ensued, or complain (once again) about how tired you are and how nothing got done today, I beg you to reconsider. No matter how much your friends love you, it really gets annoying.

Rant over!
-Jenn