Choices

We began our journey to build a family in September of 2010. We won't bore you with the details, but after about 7-8 months of trying, we decided to have a consultation with the reproductive endocrinologist (infertility specialist). We had some preliminary tests done, and the results gave us an idea of what the issue was. Unfortunately, we have no insurance coverage for infertility issues (which is not uncommon) and even the basic testing and treatments were not in our budget. After several more months of trying unsuccessfully, we came to a point where decisions needed to be made on how to move forward in this journey.


We looked at the facts:
Medical Treatments: financially, we weren't equipped to pay for fertility treatments- $300 doctor visits, $100 blood draws, drugs ranging from $10-$250 or more, potentially $3000+ procedures...it all added up to something we weren't prepared to spend for the mere possibility of getting pregnant.


Private adoption, both domestic and international, were not in the cards for us at this time. International carries a lot of risk, is also harder to qualify for in a lot of ways, and is as expensive (if not more) than the medical treatments. Domestic is another option, but also carries a pretty price tag, and many of the adoption agencies locally won't consider you unless you've been married for 3+ years, and the waiting lists are long.


That left us with foster-to-adopt. An option that we, at first, were not open to. We knew that it would be very difficult for us to welcome a child into our home only to say goodbye a short time later. We thought it would be a revolving door of children before we found one that we could call our own. We also had concerns about the background of the children in the program and whether we were capable of handling the extra needs foster children can have.


After doing some research, along with personal talks with other families in similar situations, we found that fostering-to-adopt had a lot of myths around it. We also discovered that we had a say in who came into our lives, and that it's possible to only accept children who's parents have very little chance of regaining custody.


We had a couple of sit-down sessions with each other, talking about the process, the kinds of children we would be able to accept in our lives, what challenges we could face along the way...in another post we'll share the questions and concerns we discussed before beginning this process.


Ultimately, however, we decided to jump in, and on May 30, 2012 we submitted our initial inquiry form to begin the process. Our next step will be attending an informational session on June 14th, where we will fill out paperwork and get a few more questions answered.


We're looking forward to moving things along! Stay tuned for more!

Introductions

Hello and thanks for visiting!


We started this blog for a few reasons:
1) It's hard to find a detailed version of events when it comes to foster to adopt, particularly state-specific. We want to share our experience with other hopeful parents, and give a clear idea of what kind of ride you get on when you begin this process.
2) We want to chronicle the development of our family, even if it's a non-traditional process. Other families have blogs filled with ultrasound pictures and explanations of all the good and bad things that come along with pregnancy and birth. Even though our experience will be a little different, we still want to have something to look back on.


So, in order to give you an idea of how and why we are writing this blog, we'll give you a little background on our situation.


Dan is 27, has a degree is sociology and ethics, and manages a restaurant.


Jenn is 26, has a degree in psychology and non-profit management, and works as a grant coordinator (dealing with underage and binge drinking) in a nearby county.


We were married in June of 2010, after dating for 5 years. In May of 2011 we purchased our first house- a brand new, adorable 3-bedroom in a very up-and coming neighborhood of the second largest city in Iowa.


We have chosen to begin the process of fostering-to-adopt after many discussions and lots of time spent doing research and debating the pros and cons of all of our choices. In a later post, we'll talk a little about what brought us to this decision, and some of the things we had to consider before throwing our hat in the ring.


We hope this blog is a resource for other parents-to-be when they consider their options. We hope you get to know us, and get to experience this ride with us!
-Jenn and Dan