Well, it sounds like Lovebug will be around for at least a few more months! In case I forgot to mention, when we accepted this placement, she was only supposed to be in the house for a week. We love having her around. She puts a smile on our face as soon as we see her, and she never ceases to amaze us with how quickly she's changing, how much she can do compared to the day we brought her home, how smart she is, and just her general adorableness.
I have started to see some definite signs of attachment and bonding with Dan and I, which are good signs! Even though the plan is not for us to be her Forever Family, the fact that she's developing the ability to attach appropriately will give her so much in the future. She's totally on target developmentally, she's a quick learner, and fiercely determined in everything she does. It's so much fun to watch her navigate rolling across the room to get to her toy, or stick her pacifier in her mouth and grin with satisfaction.
Now on to the slightly less positive...
The most frustrating thing, quite frankly, is that sometimes people have a tendency to leave the foster parents out. Of Everything. Apparently we are supposed to be receiving notices and court documents from the Clerk of Court, but in our county they are 'notoriously bad about getting that stuff to foster parents'. And there is supposed to be a foster care review board in each county who reviews every case once a month, and foster parents are supposed to be able to attend those hearings...but again, 'notoriously bad about getting that info to foster parents'. We have been surprised with people showing up unannounced to pick up Lovebug for a visit...we were supposed to get info about that, but apparently we were 'overlooked' in the process of scheduling the visit.
Sometimes it can feel like you are just a warm bed for the kids to sleep in...and maybe that's normal. But, regardless of whether it's normal or not, I certainly don't feel like it's right. If we are supposed to "co-parent", then we should get the same respect and be given the same consideration (if not more!) when finding out what is going on with the kids.
I have a feeling these are the 'holes in The System' that people talk about. And they kind of suck. A lot.
But then there's that little girl's smile at the end of the day, and we are reminded about why we are doing this...and it gets us into the next day, the next 'mis-communication', the next adventure.
That smile at the end of the day makes it all worth it. You guys are doing GREAT! Its wonderful to watch Lovebug's determination when she wants something and of course playing at dinner time is all kinds of fun :-)
ReplyDeleteI agree with many of your observations and have some recommendations...:)
ReplyDelete1. Contact you foster care support worker and report these things. It is not ok that you don't know when visits are occurring, it is not out of line to ask for an interaction calendar a minimum of a week if not a month in advance.
2. Call the DHS worker and ask he/she to mail you a copy of the order they get for court (they are important because it tells you the plan of action as well as when court will be held again)
3. Talk with the GAL about the foster care review board. These reviews benifit the child so this should be a priority of the GAL. A lot of times I know they don't happen every 30 days but should be every 90 days.
4. I hope that you r being invited to FTM's your input is huge here. I know you may not want it but you could be such a huge support to the biofamily since lovebug is n ur care. You know many of her likes, feeding schedule, sleep schedule etc. Since reunification is the goal I believe any since of consistency between homes will be the easiest on baby and frankly that is who is # 1!!!. I hope this helps, I work very hard to keep all in the loop this field can b frustrating for sure:) I have many things that I use so call me anytime and I will gladly help.:) Miss u tons!!!!!!