No Use Crying Over Spilled Paint

Picking a paint color for the bedroom we'll use as a nursery has become such a daunting task. I can't have pink (what if it's a boy?), no blue (already have a blue room, and what if it's a girl?), can't have yellow (Dan doesn't like it). Tan would work, but not too dark (it's a small room), and not too light (or we might as well leave it white), and do we want yellow or red undertones, or maybe blue? What about grey instead of tan? Can a baby's room be the same color as my master and hallway?

I took my mom with me this time (trip #4 to the hardware store), because if anyone's going to be able to find the right color, she will. The result of this trip was one frustrated foster-momma-to-be, crying in the middle of the paint section because "this is not how I expected to pick my nursery colors!" Another realization that this journey is not typical, and not always easy.

My mom asked why I was crying, if I really felt like this was the right choice. The only answer to that question is that, despite feeling really good about this decision, there are things I have to let go of. The idea of a baby shower, and of knowing the sex of my child (what did people do before Week 20 Ultrasounds!?) and so many other things. There is an adjustment to the idea that multiple babies may live in this room before our baby makes it a home. How do you create a space for multiple children when each child is unique and special?

The answer (which came to me with my 6:45 am reminder from the cats for their breakfast) is that this space is just that. A space. And each child who graces it with their presence will make it their own. And it will be filled with love, from Day One. And someday, our child will be in that room. And he or she won't care about the color of the walls or the pattern on their crib sheets (at least not right away). He or she will care that we gave them a safe place to call home, and a family who cares for them, and soft place to land when their world is upside down. Because that's what moms and dads do.

And they help you pick out the perfect color of paint (a process I have put on hold for this week).